I understand I’m skipping Halloween, one of the candy industry’s most important holidays, but this was too egregious not to share.
Archie McPhee has made headlines in the past for launching outrageous candy cane flavors, and this year is no exception. The Seattle-based candy retailer has again sent the Internet into a tizzy with its newest launch: kale candy canes.
Sure, kale has long been touted for its health benefits, and many candy manufacturers are developing products with cleaner, better-for-you ingredients. But I’m not sure this the same.
David Wahl, Archie McPhee’s director of awesome (his real title), told TODAY Food these green-and-white striped candy canes probably don’t compare to kale’s nutritional profile, but they do mimic the leafy green’s “sweet, grassy and bitter” notes.
"When it came time for us to make a candy cane, we opted for (the) superfood kale!” he said. “While this candy cane might not have the nutritional value of actual kale, it does share the delicious flavor we've all come to love.”
Wahl also cautioned against confusing the kale variety with classic Christmas candy canes.
"We do want to warn people that the green color of the candy cane might lead someone to believe that it has a minty flavor,” he said. “We wouldn't want anyone to be fooled into eating one accidentally.”
As readers can guess, kale isn’t the only wild candy cane option Archie McPhee has to offer. The retailer’s dill pickle candy canes first delighted and disgusted consumers a few years ago. Since then, yellow-and-white mac & cheese candy canes have been added to the roster.
In addition to the kale variety, red-and-yellow pizza candy canes and pink-and-white Hamdy Canes — yes, they’re ham flavored — are included in the Class of 2019.
"The Hamdy Canes taste disturbingly like ham with a sweet glaze," Wahl told TODAY, while the "pizza candy canes taste like pizza herbs with a cheesy richness."
I almost forgot the gray-and-white Clamdy Canes, named for their — you guessed it — clam flavor. As with the other varieties, a box of six 5 1/4-inch canes “clam” be yours for $6.50.
It’s said shared experiences bring people closer together, and there’s no doubt families and friends can bond over the pain of consuming — or the pleasure in watching loved ones consume — these crazy canes.
I think I’ll stick to mint, thanks.