For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a writer. Part of this is because it’s always been my strongest subject and something that has always come relatively naturally to me. Another part is because I’m mildly obsessed with the Gilmore Girls television series. Consequently, when Rory declared she wanted to be a journalist, so did I.

Now that I’m not making most of my life choices based on fictional television characters, the waters of my future appear a little murky. 

Amanda Gajdosik
Amanda Gajdosik

When I was a prospie (Northwestern’s lovely moniker for prospective students), I was told of the great trials and triumphs that awaited me on my Journalism Residency. When I became a timid freshman, I saw firsthand what was happening to upperclassmen I knew on their JRs. Then last year, I filled out applications and went to meeting after meeting in preparation for what was seemingly the biggest moment in my academic career.

And now, here I am, finishing up my junior year of college and wrapping up my internship at Candy Industry. Next year, I’ll be a senior and from there it’s on to the real world.

I’ve survived the past 12 weeks. I’ve published articles I’m proud of. I’ve been stuck in traffic for hours. I’ve gotten to experience once-in-a-lifetime events (like meeting Nelly!). All because of this magazine. And I’ve realized that maybe after all these years, after all this time of wanting to be a writer, it might not be what I end up doing with my life. And I’m terrified.

After all, I ended up at Candy Industry because it is a magazine based on food. It’s about sugary sweets and chocolaty treats — two of my loves. I can’t imagine I would be happy anywhere else, because during the past three years I’ve found my passion no longer lies in writing, but in making food. Being an intern here has made that all the more obvious (in the best way possible, I assure you!).

While working here, I don’t know how many times I’ve heard people say “I love what I do” or “I love my job” or “This is the best field to be in.” At shows, during interviews, listening to this year’s winner of the Kettle Award — countless people have professed their love for this profession. I can’t get away from the ringing endorsements from candy makers and confectioners.

And who knows, maybe I’ll be able to combine my affinity for writing with my unquenchable desire to make food for people. Maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll go to business school.

I probably won’t go to business school.

Thanks to this internship, my eyes have been opened to endless possibilities in the confectionery industry and the culinary world at large. It’s opened my heart, too (sorry for the increasing level of cheese in this column. It’s an occupational hazard — I’m from Wisconsin).

So, no, right now, I may not know what it is I want to do with my life. But I know I want the passion I’ve seen from these professionals over the last 12 weeks. I want that drive. I want that love for what I do. Whatever it is I do.