crystal lindell
Crystal Lindell

I spend pretty much every Sunday between August and December rooting for the Chicago Bears. Sure, sometimes it’s a Thursday, or a Monday night, but usually, it’s right after church on the first day of the week.

And, before you start trash talking me about how my beloved Bears didn’t make the playoffs, I have to tell you two things.

One, I believe in Jay Cutler and I’m hopeful that our new coach will finally help our offense achieve what I know in my heart it’s capable of.

And two, watching the games is really only part of the fun. The real star of the day is Aunt June and her Bears Den. She’s not really my aunt, and her Bears Den is more of a living room than an actual cave, but the woman throws football parties worthy of Instagram photos and Pinterest boards.

There’s always lots of chicken wings, and spinach dip, and people yelling “squatters” to save their seats on the sofa. And, as I rush over to her house each week, I usually swing by the grocery store to grab something to share. Which brings me to the problem.  

I’m sorry to confess that despite my job at Candy Industry, I typically end up reaching for some, um, well, I reach for the cookies. Look, there’s just never any handy football candy near the entrance and everyone loves cookies.

But that leads me to believe that the confectionery industry is missing out on some serious game-day profits.

I understand why beer companies, potato chip makers, and pizza places were apparently the only ones who thought they could capitalize on the NFL season. After all, it’s traditionally only manly men watching other manly men knock each other over. And manly men aren’t usually thought of as the target market for chocolates.

But there’s two major flaws in that conclusion. One, every manly man I’ve ever met loved chocolate. And two, even if they didn’t, there’s more than enough women football fans to justify some Dove Chocolate footballs and some Lindt Truffles shaped like helmets. In fact, the Star Tribune reports that 45% of NFL fans are women. That’s almost half!

Even if that weren’t the case though, Super Bowl Sunday itself would be enough to justify a wide selection of Chicago Bears truffles and other seasonal NFL confections. Look no further than the millions of females who claim to hate football, but tune in for the commercials. Or, the hostesses out there with empty candy dishes to fill.

And you can’t even tell me there’s another holiday out there taking up the seasonal space because no man in the world buys Valentine’s Day candy for his wife on Jan. 2, the day after New Year’s and the first day the seasonal aisles start to get filled up with heart-shaped everything.

Credit where credit’s due, M&M’S has stepped up it’s game, as they say. Last year, the brand found success with its clever introduction of Ms. Brown. And the candy maker is trying for another marketing touchdown this year with a Super Bowl ad, slated to debut during the first quarter.

Sadly though, M&M’S is the only candy company on Business Insider’s list of confirmed advertisers for the big game.

This Super Bowl Sunday, pretty much the whole world will be munching on something. And even if their true allegiance is with candy, they’ll probably end up half-heartedly getting behind some salty snacks instead. Maybe next year, confections will finally make the playoffs, and just like my Bears, they’ll finally achieve what I know they’re capable of.